Silence rang all around me as I sat back, alone. I stared out the small window as the silver moonlight shined into my bedroom, brightening the picture I had pushed down in my anger. I tore my gaze away, tears rushing down my cheeks without my permission. I clutched a soft pillow against my chest as I sobbed, my life changing in front of me. I saw our memories flash before my eyes and I tightly closed them, my heart twisting. What happened?
Why now? I couldn’t shut off my mind as it raced with too many unanswered questions. I felt my world crashing down, shattering. Pain racked my body, the blood in my veins running painstakingly fast. This day was supposed to be perfect, but instead of beauty I am now left with this miserable heartbreak. I’m left with not knowing.
I shakily stood up and walked to my dresser, picking up the picture of us. I ran my index finger along him, gasping for breath as I gazed at us. At how happy we were. Our smiles were bright; the way he was looking at me had a small glimmer of hope. His hand was resting lightly on my leg, the other carelessly thrown behind me. We were facing each other, laughing as we talked.
It was beautiful.
I pressed the picture to my heart for a few moments, feeling the cold frame against my skin before yanking open the first drawer I touched and tossing it in, slamming it closed. I couldn’t do it. I let my gaze roam my room, searching for any evidence of him ever being there.
After a few minutes of looking I gave up, blinded by the memories that happened in here. Blinded by the way he’d talk, the way he’d causally lay on my bed like it was his. The way I’d let him go through my things when he was looking for something. I leaned back against my dresser, my breathing ragged as I remembered.
I slid to the floor, burying my face against my knees as I was racked by more sobs. I was racked by anger, love, hatred—everything I was feeling came at me all at once and I let it. I felt worthless, useless. Nobody could care. This just proves it.
I gave up everything to be with him, and he leaves me hanging. He never thought one single thought about me otherwise this wouldn’t have happened. He should have let everyone slip into his mind. Why didn’t he?
I cried the night away, the moonlight changing into predawn. A new day quickly came charging at us, leaving the sorrow filled one behind. I sighed as I glanced at my clock, surprised at how early it still was. I caught sight of myself in the mirror and shivered at how I looked. I quickly turned away, knowing I shouldn’t care. That I should just be able to pick myself back up except I can’t.